if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
