I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
NoShamevember. You game?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
