She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
