He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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