Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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