I hate your face
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
