Can Purell be used as lube?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
