your thong is hanging out like whoa
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
