I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
