You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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