Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
