One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
