Having a random hookup so left but love u
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
