i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
