you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
