My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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