i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
