you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
