everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
