I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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