If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
