If that was your dad, he is hot
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
