JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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