I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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