We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
