Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
