Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize