I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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