Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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