What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Bring me that man meat
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
