I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think your dad took our porno
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
