Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
