TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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