1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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