How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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