You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
they're like a gay fantastic four
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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