thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
