I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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