help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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