i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
