mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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