handjob tips. give me some.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
