I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
