you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
