This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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