She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
