a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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