she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
