Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Vodka?
Forever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
