Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize