so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
