You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
