I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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