Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
