i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
