Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
