Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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