there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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