We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
