I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
