i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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