Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
