I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
