i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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