worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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