batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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