Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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