so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
