Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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