like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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